I jumped into the pool three stories below the corner of 24th and
I had known about Team New York Aquatics (TNYA) for years, having seen them in Gay Pride marches mainly. A combination of factors helped me to finally screw up my courage to give it a try that day: After many years of inactivity, I had been working out at a gym for a year, so I was in decent enough shape; at the same time, I had grown bored with the gym, and was looking for a way to vary my exercise routine; and I had had a conversation the week before with a stranger at a party who swam for another swim team, which somehow made the whole “masters swimming” thing feel a little more approachable for me.
That first day, though, I was nervous—not so much about swimming but about showing up and joining a group of strangers. And in a swimsuit, no less. But TNYA’s web site said they welcomed new members anytime; all I had to do was arrive a little early the first time. What I found was a group of people, most of whom didn’t seem to notice me, but enough of whom said hello that I felt welcome.
The pool was divided by speed, just like the team I had swum on briefly as a teen, so I found my way to the slowest lane. The water was both exhilarating and calming. I soon remembered how to count by 25s, the order of an individual medley, even how to swim butterfly. The coach kept giving us more sets, and I kept swimming. I managed to stay in for the full 90-minute practice, and was amazed to have swum 2,800 meters. I was completely exhausted. And I was hooked.
I went again the next week, and signed up for two practices a week, figuring I could go to the gym two or three times a week and swim twice. Pretty soon, though, I felt like twice a week was not enough, and before long I was swimming three, four, sometimes five times a week. The gym fell off the schedule (I’ll get back soon, really I will).
There is almost always a group of people going out for dinner after practice, and TNYA has become the center of my social life. Partly that’s because it’s where I am most weekday evenings; partly it’s because on the whole, swimmers are smart, interesting people. Mostly it’s because I feel like I belong there, in a way that I don’t feel anywhere else.
After five years on the team, being a swimmer has become a central part of my self-image. Before I joined, I didn’t understand people who were so committed to working out. Now, if I don’t swim for a few days in a row, I get anxious, even depressed. At 40, I am in much better shape than I was at 20, or at any time in my life. But more important than that, becoming a swimmer has changed the way I think of myself. I was never a jock before. Like many gay kids, high school gym class was a nightmare for me. I wasn’t good at any sports; I didn’t have any interest in watching sports. I swam on a city team for a while, and I was briefly on my high school rowing team, but left both because I didn’t fit in with the macho jock culture. For me, being on a gay team makes it possible for me to be a part of group athletics, and to enjoy it, for the first time in my life, and I love it.
And that feeling I had on the first day comes back to me every time I get in the pool.
3 comments:
This sounds awesome. Welcoming environment, people who don't care, and won't stay away from "that queer one". Used to be a lifeguard-none of the females would come near me in a refresher course....Blew out my knee toting a 300lb man deep water rescue- 'cause he was intrigued by the lesbian, and would let me rescue him...
Haven't been seriously swimming since. Wish I was back in NYC and could do this...
FB suggested you as a friend today, which led me here. What a great post. I'm really glad you found swimming again, and all that it brought with it. Your post really brought back how I felt when I refound swimming in DC at the very small JCC pool in the basement (it was the 'original pool' from I don't know when). I really loved it. Perhaps one day I'll be well enough to try out the UWS JCC pool, which has great sunlight. Funny, over the past 7.5+ years of illness I think about how much I want to go scuba diving again, but I'd forgotten how much I loved swimming in the pool. And, like you, I too have good associations with the eau de chlorine aroma.
And rounding out the FB connections, it led me to the son of the lifeguard who taught me to swim. He was very old school and I feel like I owe him a lot for my completely fearless love of the water. And I owe you for taking me to the most spectacular water I've ever been in. A few days ago I was remembering that day we toured around the area canotes? (I can't remember what they are called -- I no longer really have a memory) -- one of the stops we made that day was one of my most treasured experiences -- swimming out there and seeing nothing but that gorgeous expanse. Such an amazing feeling. I really owe you for the amazing experience that entire trip was, especially as it was my last real travel trip, and will likely always retain that status.
In many ways, I'm so different now. So deeply different as I've finally learned how to accept and truly adapt to my now not-so-new situation, life, world. Buy as you see, it didn't change my long-winded style, except perhaps to lengthen it.
Great post, Randy! I'm just seeing it now as a result of your well-deserved TNYA of the Month acknowledgment. It's a pleasure and an honor to be on the team with you.
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